Prologue - April 12-13...the night before my departure

It's 2:35 our time (US) and I've somehow convinced myself that If I stay up long enough and sleep according to the time difference I will soon be experiencing, the adjustment will be much easier. There are big, obvious, gaping holes in my logic and they are very childishly teasing "neener neener". I am so exhausted today. Last night I went out and had one last hoorah with my boys. It wasn't exactly the night I expected, but nothing beats hanging out with these fellas. We call ourselves the Justice League (drunken nickname for sure), but trust me, after getting to know us....it makes sense. It's nearly impossible these days to find genuine people who still believe in Good. So back to my long day...I was woken up this morning by an email sent to my phone from the airline. It was my e-ticket and it was addressed to Christian R.( let's leave it at R.)Ceja...one problem....my passport says Christian Ceja. The airlines being as strict as they are require the name on the ticket to match the name on the passport. So with an hour of sleep under my belt and an the poisons from the night before creeping into the next morning...I'd fallen asleep with my clothes on and didn't think twice. I jumped into my car and drove to the passport agency in LA....for the fourth time this month. Maybe that's how I know that this experience will be unlike anything else. I can't remember the last time I worked this hard or lost this much sleep on anything other than a devil woman...( with all do respect of course.).....Pointless to sleep now.....I have been working hard on opening up a little more these days. A close friend brought it to my attention a very long time ago and now that I'm aware of it, It's impossible to even fake a social connection. It's not all bad. Most of the battles I face are waging war inside my own head, while my outward appearance is that of someone who wears his emotions on his sleeve....does that make me a liar? A pretty girl I know told me that I should write......now my ego and sense of humor are trying to convince me that she was asking to write specifically to her, but I'm going to save myself the embarassment on this one and take it as more of a general statement....on that note....what ever happened to the love letter? Maybe thats my cue to bring it back....

I'm going to stop right there because I know that the longer I go, the less sense this will all make.

- Ceja